Founder and General Overseer of the Nicholas Duncan-Williams Ministries, Archbishop Nicholas Duncan-Williams, has shared powerful advice for individuals considering marriage, stressing that character, self-awareness, and preparation matter far more than appearance, pressure, or societal expectations.
Speaking during an interview on relationships and marriage, the respected Ghanaian preacher cautioned both men and women against rushing into marriage due to age, loneliness, family pressure, or social media influences.
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Character Matters More Than Looks
According to Archbishop Duncan-Williams, one of the most important qualities to examine before marriage is character.
“You shall know them by their fruit, not by how handsome they are, not by how eloquent or gifted, or how good they smell. Character,” he stated.
He explained that a person’s value system and conduct provide a much clearer picture of their suitability for marriage than physical attraction or charisma.
The Archbishop advised women in particular to carefully assess the character of the man they intend to marry and ensure their values align.
Don’t Marry Out of Desperation
Addressing the issue of timing, Archbishop Duncan-Williams said there is no perfect age for marriage. Instead, readiness should be the determining factor.
He noted that many people settle for unsuitable partners because of frustration, loneliness, family expectations, or fear of being left behind while friends get married.
“You shouldn’t settle. You must settle for what you deserve and what you want,” he emphasized.
He encouraged singles to know themselves first before committing to another person.
The Reality of Marriage Is Different From the Wedding Day
The Archbishop reflected on his own experience, revealing that he married at age 23 without fully understanding what marriage involved.
According to him, many couples focus on the wedding ceremony but fail to prepare for the realities that come afterward.
He stressed that marriage requires maturity because couples often learn how to be husbands, wives, fathers, and mothers while already navigating family responsibilities.
Challenges such as balancing careers, raising children, handling finances, and managing household responsibilities can create tension if couples enter marriage unprepared.
Are You Husband or Wife Material?
Archbishop Duncan-Williams urged prospective couples to conduct honest self-examinations before getting married.
He challenged women to ask whether they are truly prepared to be wives and challenged men to determine whether they are genuinely ready to be husbands.
“Am I a wife material?” he asked rhetorically, encouraging women to evaluate their readiness beyond simply wanting children or following societal trends.
Likewise, he said men must honestly assess whether they possess the maturity and responsibility required to lead and support a family.
Churches Must Prepare Couples Better
The Archbishop also called for more practical premarital counseling.
He argued that many churches become excited about weddings but fail to adequately prepare couples for the realities of married life.
Instead of focusing solely on ceremonies and celebrations, counseling should address communication, finances, parenting, conflict resolution, and long-term expectations.
Keep Marriage Simple and Affordable
Archbishop Duncan-Williams further questioned the growing trend of expensive multi-stage marriage ceremonies.
He suggested that couples could simplify the process by combining traditional, legal, and spiritual aspects into one coordinated event rather than organizing multiple costly ceremonies.
According to him, resources should be directed toward building a strong marriage rather than funding extravagant wedding events.
The comments align with messages he has shared during various relationship seminars encouraging couples to prioritize strong marriages over lavish weddings. oai_citation:0‡Facebook
Why This Story Matters
As divorce rates and relationship challenges continue to spark discussion globally, Archbishop Duncan-Williams’ message serves as a reminder that successful marriages are built on character, preparation, and realistic expectations rather than appearances, social pressure, or expensive ceremonies.
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